The math worksheet
by allie23o
Summary: Bella sitting in hers old a childhood. Waiting for the time to say "I do" to the love of her life.


The day I thought would never come has finally arrived.

I stared at myself in the full length mirror, admiring the way the big, white dress framed my body. I smiled at myself, wondering if this was all a dream and if it was, I hoped it would never end. Breathing in deeply, I walked over and sat down on my bed. It was the same bed I had ever since I was a child.

Wow, I'm actually getting married today. It took me thirteen years to prepare myself for this and now I'm here. As a kid, I've always dreamed about my wedding. I grew up with the idea that I would never get married because to me, it just didn't seem likely. With all the ups, downs and break ups, I just never thought a relationship would work.

Even though he and I have had our ups and downs, we were always drawn back to each other. Our story wasn't always a good one. It wasn't picture perfect, and it definitely wasn't those ones you would read about in books or see in the movies. It was more of those Life Time movie of the week.

I closed my eyes, remembering how all of this began.

* * *

I was sitting in Miss Brown's 6th Grade Math class. I was the new kid in school and I had missed the first day because I begged my dad to let me stay home. I was scared because I was going to be the new kid. So when I did go to school...actually, my dad dragged me to school, I was the last one to enter the classroom. Naturally, all the desks were taken except for one next to this boy. He was sitting quietly at his desk, reading a spider-man comic book.

I took a seat next to him. He didn't react to me sitting next to him.

"Hi, I'm Bella." I introduced myself with a smile. I was trying to be nice, but he continued to ignore me and read his comic book. Thinking he was shy, I said, "What's your name?"

He let out an obvious sigh and pointed to this piece of paper that was taped to the desk. It said 'Paul L.'. He went back to reading his comic.

For the next few months, that's how school went. I sat next to him, he sat next to me and we didn't speak to each other. But one day, Miss Brown gave us a worksheet to do all my ourselves. I hated what we were working on. I didn't understand it. When I was attempting to finish the first questions, I could hear someone growling. I looked over to my left and it was Paul. He was making wolfish dog sounds. He was glaring over at my worksheet.

"What?" I asked, sort of intimidated by him.

"You did questions one, three, four and six wrong. Do them again." He spat through his teeth. I stared at him for a really long time, trying to comprehend why he was being ignorantly rude. I mean, he hasn't spoken to me all year and now that he decides to talk to me, he's being rude?

Unreluctantly, I redid the questions. I looked over at him and caught him staring at my sheet again. He was growling again. At this point, I very much wished that Miss Brown would come around and tell him to knock it off.

I looked away, but I could feel his eyes burn the side of my head.

"You still have one, six, eight, thirteen and nineteen wrong." He sneered.

I redid the questions and once again, I caught him growling.

"Oh my god, just forget it!" He hissed impatiently. He snatched my worksheet and redid the questions I did wrong.

I couldn't help but smile as I watched him do my work for me. From that day on, I knew that he and I were going to be stuck together for a very long time.

* * *

I heard a knock on my door, waking me up from my daydreaming.

"Come in!" I shouted to whoever ruined my thoughts. The door swung open and in came my best friend, Kim. She had always been there for me through thick and thin. I met her in the same class where I met Paul.

Looking around the room, I could see a smile growing on her face as she stared at old pictures that hung on the walls. We spent most of our time in this bedroom - my bedroom - talking about boys, watching movies, cried our hearts out and hid away when we accidentally wrecked her dad's new car.

Kim looked lovely in the green dress. She had pink flowers pinned in her hair.

"Hey, Bella, how are you feeling? Having any cold feet, yet?" She asked, taking a seat next to me.

She is the next person, besides myself, who understands how I'm feeling. There was a time where Paul and I had broken up, and I remember when no one believe that Paul and I could last. But, Kim was always there. Being our number one fan.

I smiled at her question. "No, not yet. So what did you come here for? Wanted to know if I was going to make a run for it?"

"Nah, I just wanted to see how you're doing and if I could help with anything." She smirked.

"Nope, I'm just waiting for my cue to say I do."

"I can't believe you're getting married before me." She teased.

I got off my bed and fluffed my dress. "I know, right? It's unreal right now. I mean, I'm standing in my dream dress and everything...but still."

Kim stood up and approached me with her warm, friendly smile. "Yes, I can't believe it took us four months to find that dress!" She squeaked.

It took me a long time to feel comfortable in a dress, but I knew it was worth the wait. "But if anyone should be getting married right now, it should be you and Paul." Kim pulled me into a big hug. We stood there, holding each other and beginning to cry. She pulled away from me. "Well, I suppose I better go and see what everyone's doing now. I'll be back soon."

She walked out the door and the smile that I had plastered on my face fell. I stared at the clock, realizing I had a lot of time left before I actually walk down the aisle. Feeling bored, I went to the window and looked down at the yard. There were people working on decorations for the wedding and setting up some equipment, but there was no sign of the love of my life. He's probably still getting ready.

The house is going to be ours after we say our vows. I remember the first time I walked into the house. I was staying the night at Kim's and she only live three houses up from Paul. Every time I came over, she gave me a makeover and wanted to show off her work. As a fourteen year old girl, I didn't know much about make up or girly things. So to me, she did a good job. Or at least, I thought she did.

She heard that a boy she liked was going to be at Paul's house, so she took the opportunity and walked ten seconds to Paul's. She knocked on the door and in a minute, someone opened the door. Paul stood there, next to his friend Jared whom I guessed was Kim's ultimate crush. Both of the guys looked incredibly confused as to why we were there.

Then, Kim spoke up and asked if they wanted to watch a movie or something. It was such a straight-forward question that I felt myself flush with embarrassment. Surprisingly, they said sure and allowed us to crash their party of two.

Paul's house was homey. There were pictures of him and his dad on top of desks and tables, but I noticed there were no pictures of his mother. After the movie was over, Kim whispered to me, "His mother ran out of both of them."

When Paul was four years old, his father was the kind of man who slept around. He never stayed with a woman for long. Kim told me more stories and at one point, it hit me; this is why he acts the way he does. That is why he won't talk to anyone outside of his friend group.

Before we went back to Kim's, Paul pulled me aside. "You know, you looked a lot better without that shit on your face. Eye liner is enough for a girl." I nodded once at his suggestion and after that, Kim and I left. Since then, I had this small crush towards him growing.

I shook my head, remembering how that small crush grew into a deep love day after day. I walked over to one of the four walls that surrounded me, the one where most of my pictures hung. I touched every frame, reliving each memory. I stopped when I came to a cast picture from our high school musical version of the Wizard of Oz.

My memory brought me back to when I sat next to him in math class a few years ago. I tried to become better friends with him, but he wouldn't speak to me for longer than a minute or without someone else being there.

We were both fifteen years old, and I still had that small crush on him that just wouldn't go away. He had gotten taller and his body started to tone. All the girls noticed too, but he never showed any interest in them. One time, we were in the same hallway alone during break. My next class was drama and his was wood shop.

He stood quietly playing a game on his cell phone.

_Just walk up and stand next to him, Bella! Just talk to him. What's the worse that could happen? _I encouraged myself and I took a few steps forward before my mind went into overdrive. All these crazy ideas and scenarios started to play in my mind. What if looks at me weirdly and walks away? I started to freak out when the space between us was getting smaller and smaller. When I was close enough, I chickened out and started running down the hallway. I kept running, embarrassed, until I sat down in the drama classroom.

_Chickened out again, Bella? How in the hell is he supposed to notice you if you keep running away? _My mind shouted at me. I looked down at my hands and nearly gasp as I realized what I was holding.

I was holding his cell phone. I took his cell phone! _Good work, Bella, now he knows you exist. Bad news, though, you're going to be the freak who stole his phone._

The screen was still illuminated to a game of Snakes. Well, I'm dead for taking his phone so might as well play the game until he finds me. I was about to play it when I noticed his shoes in front of me. I looked up and there he stood, his arms crossed.

"Can I have my phone back?" He hisses at me, clearly pissed.

_Play it cool, Bella, don't chicken out. _"Can't you see I'm in a game?" I snidely retorted.

He was taken aback but smiled anyway. He took a seat next to me, much to my liking. "Mr. B's test today was really hard, huh?" He remarked irrelevantly.

I smiled internally as I noticed that he's letting me use his phone. "Yeah, it was a killer."

After that day, we sort of became best friends. When I knew that we were good enough friends, I asked him why he didn't murder me for taking his phone. He grinned, as if he remembered that day, and told me that I had some nerve doing that and standing my ground. He liked knowing that I wasn't afraid of him, because a lot of people were. He kind of had that 'don't mess with me or I'll kill you' vibe going on. Yet, it never stopped the girls from throwing themselves at him.

I loved the fact that I was his friend, but I hated it when he came to talk to me about other girls. It got worse when he turned sixteen. That summer, he got hotter and he knew it. That's the year he got over his shy, introverted persona. He turned into this man-whore, like his father. I never told him that. I would if I had a death wish.

As I ditched that picture frame, I went over to another with a picture of him and I that exact summer. It was also the day when Kim and I went to the beach to go swimming. We bumped into him and his friend, Jared. I think the whole think was planned because Kim and Jared both had a thing for each other and how coincidental is it that they so happened to bump into each other at the beach?

I closed my eyes, remembering how hot the sun felt that day. We were tanning.

"Bella, if you like him that much, why don't you just make a damn move? I mean, you're not the same girl. Look at you! You're taller, curvier and your boobs are ten times bigger." Kim never filtered her mouth.

"But what if he doesn't think of me that way? We've become such good friends. Plus, do you see the girls he's been going out with? They're..."

I was cut off by a water bottle hitting my shoulder.

"They have nothing on you. What you and he have is special. He never had a friendship thing going on with any of those girls. If you don't make a move, you will be friend zoned. Do you always want to be a friend to him? Will you be able to handle him coming to you for advice about girls?" She inquired.

"No, but I don't want to mess it up."

Before Kim could respond, someone asked, "Mess what up, Bells?"

Kim and I sat upright really quickly. My heart was pounding in my chest and my cheeks flushed when I realized it was Paul and Jared smiling down at us.

"Um, my driving test. It's coming up soon." I was proud of my lie.

Paul sat next to me, putting an arm around my shoulder. My heart rate increased. This little crushing thing was turning into a big one. Kim was right, if I don't want to be friend zoned before it's too late.

"You'll be fine. If I could pass it, so can you." He told me, grinning.

At the end of the afternoon, it was just he and I sitting by the water watching the sun disappear over the horizon. This was the best moment to tell him how I felt. With the sun going down and the sound of the ocean, it felt like one of those cheesy romantic movies. Now, it would be a perfect movie if he felt the same way about me.

"Bella, can I tell you something?" He asked, fidgeting with his hands.

I glanced at him. "You know how I went over to my mom's for a week?"

I nodded. She had finally reached out to him a year after him contemplating whether or not to call her. He had agreed to work on their relationship. After I consoled and helped him with his mom, my mom ran off on me and my father too. I still have no idea where she is.

"Well, I met this girl and we started dating. I think I'm in love with her, too."

* * *

I opened my eyes, trying to shake off that memory. I could still feel how my heart broke that day. He went on and on about how she was the girl of his dreams. I couldn't tell how many times I wished it were me he was talking about. For the rest of the summer, I didn't talk to him. He was with his mom so that he could also be with his girlfriend.

She added me on Facebook. I guess he talked about me and she was curious. It wasn't bad, I accepted her friend request. I saw all their pictures together and the lovey-dovey wall posts they made.

That year, Kim and Jared started dating and I found myself feeling more alone than ever. To get my mind off things, I applied and successfully got a job at the bookshop in town. That's how I fell in love with books and writing. Also, that summer, I had my first real boyfriend. His name was Jasper. We met when I was stacking books on shelves and one threatened to fall on my head. He caught it before it did. Jasper was nothing like Paul. He was nice, caring, funny and incredibly smart. The best thing about that relationship was that he liked me back. Eventually, I fell for him quickly.

I smiled, remembering about that.

I moved on to a different picture - it was the first day of our junior year. Kim, Jasper and I entered the school and Jasper ran straight to the office to check in. Kim and I waited outside near her car, waiting for Jared. He had pulled up and stepped out. Two seconds later, Paul got out of the passenger door and walked towards us. Jared stopped in front of Kim but Paul went straight into the school, not before looking at me. Jared explained how he and Paul's 'dream girl' had called it quits.

When Jared told me about that, I felt bad for him. Nothing more than that. I guess at the time, I was over him. It also helped that I was in love with Jasper. The bell rang and I went to my locker. Paul came up behind me and tapped my shoulder. I turned around.

"Hey, Bells." He greeted me.

"Hey, sorry to hear about you and her." I sympathetically consoled him. I really did feel bad for him. I bet it wasn't very easy letting go of someone who you thought was the love of your life.

"It's fine." He said. "Um, so I heard you're dating that new kid."

I nodded. I could hear something in his voice, something quiver, but I couldn't put my finger on it. "Jasper, yes. For about a month now."

"Is he good to you?"

I nodded again. I didn't really know where this was going. "Well, he better be because if he isn't, I'll fucking kill him, got me?"

I nodded again and with a slight smile and nod of the head, he left.

I remember when Jasper broke up with me at prom that year. I found myself on the crying into my dress, asking myself what I did wrong. My phone was ringing like crazy and I had to pick it up. I had three missed calls from Kim. She left a voicemail, asking where I was. Apparently she and Jared were having a great time.

Paul didn't go to prom. He kept saying that dances were for losers. I laughed at that. I guess he was right about that, in a certain point of view. Instead of going to the dance, he boasted about how he was going to get drunk with his baseball friends. I hated to think about it, but I actually wanted to get drunk, too.

I sat on a log, a few meters away from the shoreline. The beach was no place for a girl in her prom dress but I couldn't care less. I stared at the moon and the way it reflected off the water.

Suddenly, I heard leaves rustling and twigs snapping. I didn't bother to turn around because I didn't care who it was. But as the figure approached and propped itself onto the sad beside the log I was sitting on, my stance relaxed. It was only Paul carrying a bottle of jack.

"The dance was that bad, huh?" He smirked, handing me the bottle.

Fearlessly, I took the bottle of alcohol and took a large gulp. "Yeah. He even dumped me an hour before it via text." I laughed humourlessly. I still don't remember why I was laughing about it.

"He did that to you?!" Paul shouted, standing up.

"Can you not?" I whispered, grabbing his hand.

He looked at me, obviously enraged. He sighed and reluctantly sat next to me. For the rest of the night, we spoke about Jasper and his dream girl. We spoke about how they broke our hearts. He told me that she was sleeping with other guys behind his back. I told him that Jasper and I were always fighting about stupid things.

He looked at me, his eyes only visible through the luminescence that is the moon. I don't know if it was the jack talking, but he told me he always had a thing for me ever since Miss Brown's sixth grade class. Without warning, he grabbed the side of my face and kissed me.

That was our first kiss. After that, we became an item. We spent all our free time together. Even during the summer before our last year of high school, I have myself to him in a big way. We had sex in the woods - very kinky, I know - when I was staying the night at Kim's. I had sneaked out. It was the way I thought I would lose it, but I'm just happy I lost my virginity to someone who genuinely cared about me.

I took a step back, admiring the wall of pictures. They held great memories that I would never forget.

I walked over to the window and noticed that nearly all of the equipment was set up for the outside ceremony.

I saw Paul and my father talking. My father unexpectedly pulled him into a big hug and I grinned widely. It took them a while to get get along, but I'm glad they did.

The summer before our last year of high school, we were dating and my father hated him. He wasn't my father's favourite person to be around. He always said that Paul was bad news and would bring me down. After a while, I think my dad saw that I was happy and that he wouldn't hurt me unlike Jasper. A little while later, they actually became friends.

I looked up at the clock that hung above the vanity. One hour left. I went to the full length mirror to look at myself. As cliche as it sounds, I felt like a princess. My hair was pinned up in an elegant bun with a small tiara on my head. And who didn't notice the beautiful, white ball gown I had on? I've never been a girl to like dresses, but I happened to love this one.

I twirled around, revelling in the moment when a piece of my hair fell out. Sighing, I walked over to my desk and pulled on a drawer in attempts to find a bobby pin. When I opened it up, I saw a notebook. It was a notebook where I kept all my journal entries of my first year in college. I thought it was a good idea to write down my ideas, reminders and feelings of the day.

I took it out and went through it. A certain page had caught my eye: March 15th. That's the day that everything nearly got ruined. I read down the page, reading how I was in his arms when his cell phone rang. It was his dad's girlfriend. His dad had died of a heart attack.

After that phone call, he was never the same. We fought often, barely talked to each other and everything was falling apart right in front of our eyes and there was nothing we could do about it.

On the same night, I was in my dormitory on the school's campus rereading my notes for the morning when I received a picture from one of my good friends. It was of him kissing another girl at a party. My heart had dropped and I could hear my heart shatter. It still hurt to remember that that was the worse fight we had ever had.

I remember when he knocked on the dormitory's beaten up, wooden door. He opened it before I could protest and I showed him the picture that my friends sent me, tears stinging in my eyes. He stared at it for a long time and his jaw visibly clenched.

"What do you want me to say?" He asked in a cold voice. He wasn't the same person I had fallen in love with. He was broken and I knew it too.

"Nothing. I don't want anything from you anymore!" I screamed, throwing my phone across the room.

"Come on, Bella. You could see it coming, couldn't you? We never see each other or speak any more." He pointed out.

"No!" I growled, pointing my finger at his face. The tears fell and I did nothing to stop them. "You're the one who stopped talking to me! I've been trying to keep up from falling apart but I can't do this any more. I thought I could but I'm dying here." I ran my hands through my hair.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"This!" I hissed, wavering my hand between us. "Since you found out about your dad, you changed. You're losing yourself and I can't help you. That's something you have to help yourself do." I said. "Please, leave."

* * *

There was a knock on my bedroom door. I looked up from the notebook and saw my father standing in the threshold, a wide smile on his face.

"Ready to take that long walk, baby girl?"

I nodded and walked over to him. He hooked his arm around mine and escorted me to my wedding. As we were about to exit the house, he stopped and turned to me.

"You know there's still time to run." He chortled, teasing.

"You know I can't run without falling." I joked.

The music started to play and that was our cue to leave. My dad gave me a kiss and told me he loved before pulling the veil over my face. We proceeded towards the beginning of the aisle. On our way, friends and family members were all seated, waiting for me. I looked up and saw the love of my life crying happily. A final memory played in my mind.

It was two years after we had that big fight. I was sitting on that log that was still placed in front of the beach. The same placed where we had our first kiss and confessed our feelings for each other. For the first time in a long time, I was sitting there confused about my feelings. I could stay here, or move to a city and start over like he did.

After I told him to leave, he had packed his bags and moved to a different city to start over. Jared always told me that he was doing fine. I told Jared to stop telling me about how he's doing because I needed to get over him too. It was much harder than I thought it would be.

I sat on that log, thinking about what to do when someone sat next to me. A little startled, I looked to my right and saw him staring at the ocean.

"What are you thinking about, Bells?" He queried, using that old nickname he gave me.

"What are you doing here? The last I heard of you, you were in Cali." I said, staring at his face. He seemed a lot happier.

"I was for a bit, but then I moved to New Mexico."

"What are you doing here?" I questioned, looking back at the dark sea.

He hesitated. "Well," He began. "I wanted to come back and tell you that I am sorry for what happened two years ago. You were right."

I looked back at him and he smiled. "I know, I never say sorry." He laughed. "You were right. I didn't know what I was doing any more. After I lost my dad, I didn't know how to react to that. I pushed the only person who could comfort me."

"What are you trying to say?" I inquired.

He turned to me and gazed into my eyes very seriously. He placed a hand on my shoulder and admitted, "I really missed you and I want to make this work so badly."

* * *

This was approximately a year and a half ago. It took a while to pick up the broken pieces and glue them back together, but after a while, we grew into it. Another thing I realized was that he and I were meant to be. I let him go and he loved me enough to come back.

When we came to the end of the aisle, my father let go of my arm and took his place. I placed myself in front of the man I had met in sixth grade. He was the boy who finished my math problems with me, shared a bottle of booze, and lost my virginity to. He was the first boy to break my heart and the first to fix it. He was the first to break it a second time and the first to commit to fixing it again, too.

He's my best friend, my lover and the most amazing person I could have ever hoped to meet.

This is Paul, and forever my husband.

**Beta'd by: Moriarty's Diary**


End file.
